/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews


FimFiction Link - Short ID: 63121/archmage

Published: Nov '12Jun '13

Review in No. 37759649
Dropped at chapter 6, about 10% of the way in to the fic. I could be talked in to reading more, but something about it just feels amateurish. I'm not sure why, but it's like reading a children's novel. There's definitely something up with Luna's dialogue - she varies from full formality to swearing and other informalities for no apparent reason - but that's the only example of the poor writing style that I can point to with certainty. I don't yet know enough to say that it's bad, but it's clear that there are better ways to spend your time. There's definitely a mismatch between the writing style and the M-rated "you need to lose your virginity" plot.