/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Unwinding the Moon-bow

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 505632/unwinding-the-moon-bow

Published: Oct '21

Review in No. 37759827
'Unwinding the Moon-bow' is a four thousand and one hundred-word shortfic in which Izzy faces so much unintentional torture, that I'm wondering if the author might have a fetish for such things. The story begins on Nightmare Night, with Sunny taking Izzy to a haunted house she constructed. The place is full of seemingly deadly, but actually harmless traps, which promptly scare the soul out of the poor pony. One of the "traps" in the house is a fake gun, which gives off a very loud bang and shoots her with a very weak projectile that only grazes her. Due to her heightened senses, however, she thinks she's really shot and in terror she yells the safeword. Sunny rushes to stop the house's traps, but due to an accident Izzy gets zapped by electricity from a loose wire. This, along with the rest of the fake near-death scenarios she faced in the house causes her to have a mental breakdown and run out into the forest, leaving a dumbfounded Sunny behind. Out there she's further injured by branches and sharp rocks, before a group of wolves chase her into a small cave. There a snake almost suffocates her. As she's lying in shock, Sunny finally arrives and rescues her. The two of them meet Zipp, who offers to take Izzy home, but just as they start their journey, the celebration reaches its peak and the bangs from the fireworks-show reminds Izzy of the "gunshot" she received and causes her to once again break down and scream in terror. The story ends with Sunny vowing to do everything to make up with her.
I'm baffled. I'm genuinely unsure if the author is just very inexperienced and thought if you put your characters through so much misery, it's going to come across as good drama or if they really wanted to make a character suffer so much in hopes of experiencing some unusual sort of pleasure. I'm not even trying to be judgemental, I just truly don't understand what's going on here. Safe to say the story is bleeding from a thousand wounds (just like Izzy is at the end of the story): From Sunny apparently being able to create the "Usher II" in her spare time with the only intention of scaring Izzy, to the almost comical levels of suffering she faces, it's a fic I'm incapable of taking seriously.
Overall: 2/10 It's bizarre. I can't recommend this story with the intent of finding a good narrative here, but the sheer absurdity of the story makes it good for catastrophe-tourism.