/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

This Is The Union!

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 507291/this-is-the-union

Published: Nov '21

Review in No. 37867501
'This Is The Union!' is a two thousand and six hundred word comedy oneshot featuring Anon, who after being transported to Equestria and getting a job as a teacher at the Friendship School, leads the others on a strike due to their low wages. One thing leads to another and soon it turns out that Twilight not only pockets much of their payment, but also engages in tax evasion ever since she moved to Ponyville, due to her less than high opinion of the government. After the whistle is blown on her by Spike, the Princesses suddenly appear and cast her into Tartarus, where she becomes the cellmate of Cozy Glow, leaving Anon to be the new headmaster of the school.
All reviews are subjective to a certain extent, but I feel like when it comes to comedy, this applies doubly so. In case the short description above sounded hilarious to you, I advise that you drop this review right now, because while I have few kind words for this story, I certainly don't want to ruin anyone's enjoyment.
With this out of the way, let me first and foremost say that it's a massive pity that the story derails itself so fast. I can stomach the School and I can even put up with Anon, if I have to. However, what I have a hard time accepting is the fic having such a promising premise and then promptly squandering it. Rallying the otherwise so content and peace-loving ponies into forming a worker's union is, in my opinion, a pretty funny concept. I can imagine many amusing potential situations in which they ineptly try to strike or otherwise apply pressure, but ultimately end up acting as little more than a nuisance rather than a force to be reckoned with; then the whole situation is resolved in a way that makes everyone happy.
The fic, however, doesn't keep up the pretense for long and instead very suddenly shifts into a lolrandumb chain of events in which every single character acts in a blatantly OOC way, especially Twilight. Not only is she a tax evader, the reason why she's doing it is - and I quote - "because the government is a corrupted scumbag." Hearing these words out of her mouth is just such an immediately immersion breaking thing. And what's even worse is that the fic isn't even trying to be particularly funny about the whole event. The "joke" boils down to all of Twilight's friends just hounding and insulting her until she breaks down in tears, has a little anarchist-speech, and then she's thrown into Tartarus where she makes friends with Cozy Glow.
Overall: 3/10 Again, humor is a very subjective thing, so if the idea of the characters acting wildly OOC and Twilight being humiliated is appealing to you, you'll likely have a great time. Otherwise though, there is very little to enjoy here and I personally can't recommend the story.