/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Nightmare Moon is a...Salespony?!

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 507308/nightmare-moon-is-asalespony

Published: Nov '21

Review in No. 37871849
'Nightmare Moon is a...Salespony?!' is a one thousand and five hundred-word comedy oneshot. As the title implies, Nightmare Moon has returned, but rather than using intimidation or force, she intends to sell her idea of an eternal night to the ponies, citing the many benefits they would receive if they allow her plan to go through.
I have to admit that I'm not really into the kind of humor that iAmSiNnEr's previous "Twilight blows stuff up"-saga featured, so I was hoping that perhaps I'll enjoy this story more, since it deviates from the usual (explosive) punchline. The end results are mixed.
On one hand, I do like the absurd humor of NMM/Luna dropping the whole ancient evil-act and instead painting a bold picture of how her Equestria would work. I also found the pith helmet and Celestia hiding behind a curtain jokes amusing.
On the other hand, however, for every 'proper' joke the fic makes, it also spends a paragraph or more on explaining stuff that's fundamentally irrelevant because this is a shitpost. Reading fairly straight-faced blurbs about tax reforms or how crops can be grown without the sun could make for compelling topics in a more serious fic, but here it just stalls time, without adding anything. Deep down I was hoping that all this was just a diversion while the story builds up to some massive punchline that ties everything together and makes me eat my words. My hope was promptly dashed, however, at the moment Luna began to talk about Raid, NordVPN and all the other shitty sponsors you see on Youtube. This is the punchline we get. The story derails itself, without even properly resolving the "conflict."
Ultimately, it's a serviceable comedy fic, especially because the author isn't trying to sell it as anything more than a shitpost. However, I feel like it doesn't really do its job well as it could, as it neither has enough jokes, nor a satisfying conclusion.
Overall: 4/10 As with any comedy fics, your experience may vary wildly, so my recommendation ultimately comes down to whether you find the gags above funny or not.