FimFiction Link - Short ID: 507222/derpy-saves-hearths-warming
Published: Dec '21
'Derpy Saves Hearth's Warming' is a one thousand and five hundred-word poem. On the night of Hearth's Warming Eve, Princess Luna visits the house of Derpy Hooves and pleads her to help her save the holiday. With some persuasion our favorite klutzy grey pony agrees and the duo fulfill their mission with only minor casualties and mayhem.
Since my mother tongue is one that feels like it was planned for poems, I'm inherently a bit biased against poems in English as most I've read felt like they lack the magic and vigor that ours seem to somehow inherently carry. With this in mind, I was shocked to see just how whimsical and cute this poem was. The author packed it full of endearing jokes and clever turns of phrases, while also delivering a coherent and sweet story, which isn't afraid to throw one or two slightly dark moments into the mix, just to contrast its otherwise very cheerful atmosphere. I really liked the description of Derpy's house with how many characters she shares her home with and Luna's joke about her sister was as unexpected as it was funny. Derpy naming her price as muffins before thinking she asked for too much was also a highlight for me. The tempo is great, the rhymes in the first half of the story are almost all excellent and I really like how the separation of verses indicate pauses in the characters' speech without needing to dedicate words to explicitly state this.
My only significant problem is really with the few rhymes that didn't work. The issue might be in my device, but I can't see for instance how "painfully" and "chimney" are supposed to rhyme. Similarly, some of the rhymes aren't outright wrong, but feel quite forced, like "stairs" and "scared." Still, while these did feel out of place, they weren't nearly impactful enough to come even close to ruining my enjoyment.
Overall: 7/10 Writing is already a hard craft, turning it into poetry is even harder, yet this story does both well. I highly recommend it to readers who enjoy lighthearted, holidays-themed stories and who appreciate poems.