FimFiction Link - Short ID: 358134/farewell-spoiled-rich
Published: Dec '16
'Farewell, Spoiled Rich' is a two thousand-word oneshot. Diamond Tiara's mother is on her deathbed and her child visits her to say her goodbyes. She recounts how much she has changed since her foalhood and how much she laments not being closer to her.
The death of characters is easily the most evident topic for a tragedy-fic, so I was looking forward to see just how the author was going to approach a touchy subject like this. And, while there are things I like here, I feel like this fic missed its mark.
First let's go over the good things: I mostly like how Diamond Tiara is characterized in this fic. We don't see particularly deeply into her, which is a shame, but her reminiscing is sweet and gives us just enough of an idea to understand where she got in life since we've last seen her. I also like that Spoiled's bad deeds are only brought up through the experience of others. The fic almost plays like a memorial speech, except the events recounted are (with a few notable exceptions relating to her daughter) all bad. The final sentence, while predictable, was also impactful enough.
However, there are some things in this story that make it really hard for me to appreciate it. I consider myself an emotional person, who can easily empathize with even fictional characters, but when Spoiled's death is announced like this:
>That was it. Flatline.
I am thrown right out of my immersion. I expect a line like this in a dark comedy, not straight-faced drama. I have no problem with what the author was going for, but the how is anything but dignified. This was the thing that threw me off the most, but there were other minor artistic choices which I could overlook individually, but together detracted from the experience. For instance:
>it had been progressively difficult for Diamond Tiara to witness her female parent's gradual decline
There is nothing technically or even logically wrong with "female parent," but it is such a clinical term to describe a dying mother of all things. Later the fic calls her a "patient" in another similar moment. In any other fic I'd gladly ignore things like this as trivialities not even worth mentioning, but here I feel like they actively take away from the intimacy of the event between mother and daughter.
Overall: 4/10 While the narrative delivers some emotional moments, it lacks the kind of depth that would make a story like this really hit hard. The fic isn't a waste of time, but it is unlikely to move those who are looking for realistic characterization and a more intimate exploration of dealing with death.