/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Part of You That Leaves Forever

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 508223/the-part-of-you-that-leaves-forever

Published: Dec '21

Review in No. 37946357
'The Part of You That Leaves Forever' is a two thousand and eight hundred-word oneshot. Rarity has sold her boutique and she's preparing to move away with her sister. Sweetie Belle is furious about the fact that they are moving away, but Rarity can't really find a good way to connect with her. The two eventually find common ground with the help of a guitar and an old song.
This is very much a story that tries to evoke one very specific feeling: That is leaving your own home behind. I think anyone who ever moved from a beloved home can sympathize with the characters in the story, especially because the author chose some of the most characteristic emotions to depict in this fic. Anger, regret, denial and that odd feeling of walking through the empty house that you used to call home. All this compounded by the fact that the two sisters aren't willing to talk to each other. While I wouldn't say I was particularly moved at the end of the story, the author still handled the topic with grace and nothing felt melodramatic or out of place. This is achieved with nice prose, that's subdued enough not to take away from the emotions. I especially liked the author's usage of anthropomorphism to depict the boutique itself "forgetting" about Rarity .
On the other hand, the story operates with one major elephant in the room: Where is the rest of the M6? Where are the CMCs? I assume the author wanted to focus exclusively on the emotional struggle of the sisters, but it still feels very odd to me that their friends hardly even come up, except for one or two off-hand sentences or unrelated reminiscing. This doesn't wreck the story, of course, but it definitely nagged me throughout reading it. I understand that addressing them properly would have likely greatly increased the story's length and perhaps would have even taken away from the main point, (how hard it is to leave the boutique behind,) but I still think a throwaway sentence about how they'll sometimes come back to visit or similar would have greatly alleviated this almost plot-hole.
Overall: 6/10 It's a nicely written, short and sweet story, that explores an everyday tragedy. If you can ignore the odd absence of the M6, I recommend it.