/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews


FimFiction Link - Short ID: 193313/sleepless

Published: Jun '14Jul '14

Review in No. 38002094
Sleepless is a 36k short novella starring Diamond Tiara.
She's having a lot of trouble sleeping and goes for walks where she kills several fillies.
The story follows 2 plots, and is fairly straightforward, the first covers Diamond Tiara as she rapidly loses control where she murders several foals, each time she does it she can finally sleep. Its largely about her descent into madness as she's faced with hallucinations and nightmares, and the fic actually leaves it up to the reader if her actions are because she's just the shittiest person or because of her schizophrenia.
The B. Plot follows the pair of ponyville royal guard and the town as a whole as they find out about the grisly murders, going down false leads as they meet failure after failure. This half without the fjrst half would make for a compelling crime procedural as it leans heavily into the tropes that make detective stories good, though because the reader already knows whodunit it instead serves to keep the reader in suspense waiting to find out if they catch DT before she can kill again.
The final piece of the story is the town of ponyville as the tranquil little village is rocked repeatedly by multiple child murders and it goes from a friendly and close-knit community to each pony darting to and fro, captured by paranoia.
The only character that I can speak about without ruining the story outright is Diamond Tiara, she rather believably transitions into the role of desperate serial killer in a way that I could see happening in canon, and its her insecurities that largely lead up to the events of the story.
While the plotline is almost entirely predictable from the first half of the first chapter onwards, it executed its story really well, and i have no reservations about suggesting the story to anyone who enjoys a little murdered foal and psychological horror with their fic. 8/10