/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Eyes On You

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 7531/eyes-on-you

Published: Jan '12Jul '14

Review in No. 38034218
One day, Twilight hears a cry of help in the forest, when she goes to invesitgate, she founds a battered Trixie being attacked by Timberwolves. What follows is the birth of a strong friendship, and perhaps something more. But, why has Trixie returned to Ponyville? Well, she wants Twilight to be her partner in the Manehattan Magic Display, Equestria's most prestigious show magic expo.
- Both Trixie and Twilight act believeable and in-character.
- They don't immediately hit it off, and it's nice to see how their personalities clash during the first chapters as they start to warm up to each other.
- There's a love triangle going on between Trixie, Twilight and Rainbow Dash that has a good set-up and is well developed through the first part of the story.
- Despite the tonal shift between the Ponyville arc and Manehattan arc, the story keeps you interested in the developing relationship between Twilight and Trixie.
- The events of the Display are creative and engaging.
- Sans a couple of exceptions, most of the other OC participants in the Display are underdeveloped.
- Twilight's obliviousness to Rainbow Dash's feelings gets a bit tiring near the end of the Ponyville arc.
- The shift between the Ponyville arc and the Manehattan arc is very notorious. If it weren't for the romantic core of the whole story, they may as well be two different Twixie stores.
Overall, this is a great fic. The relationship between Trixie and Twilight feels natural, and the Display is a really interesting event with fun and creative events.
If you like Twixie and Grand Tournaments, this is for you.
Review in No. 39375993
I had a much longer review prepared but it was kind of redundant so I ended up deleting most of it.

All that you need to know about Eyes on You is that it has some of the most likeable characters out of any fic I've ever read (and they act in-character!), an extremely prominent "comfy" atmosphere that's characteristic of the better 2011/2012 fics and a surprisingly excellent execution of what it sets out to do. Additionally, the fic is very gripping and few to none of the plot elements or character arcs feel underdeveloped.
Basically, what I'm saying is that if you don't mind a light action Twixie fic, Eyes on You is as good as it gets, and probably a decent amount better than that.

The author is seemingly unable to write unlikable or uninteresting characters, and that's so incredibly important for a character-oriented fic. That would've been already sufficient to make it a good romance fic, but then he also seemed to have pretty much only good ideas for the story (or managed to steer the fic in such a way to make them look good) AND he wrapped it up in just the right amount of words.
I'm really impressed. That doesn't happen often, and up until this fic I really wouldn't expect it out of a shipfic. If I had to find something the fic did less than great, I'd point to a couple bad writing practices that were lamentably common in 2012. Namely, the fic loves its LUS and frequent st-stuttering in dialogues. Ultimately I couldn't be too mad at it for doing that; partially because it's not a huge deal, and partially because -- in a way -- it only makes that 2012 FiM charm that the story overflows with even stronger. tl;dr: SOVL

Being needlessly dramatic, I'll say this fic did something that only a precious few fics have ever managed -- it reminded me of *why* I read pony fanfics in the first place. It's not the most ambitious fic ever written, but it didn't need -- or try -- to be that. It's realistically perfect the way it is.
That's an easy 10/10 and an even easier recommendation from me.