/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

A Lonely Heart Weeps

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 512576/a-lonely-heart-weeps

Published: Feb '22

Review in No. 38267317
'A Lonely Heart Weeps' is a two thousand and two hundred-word oneshot. Twilight stumbles upon Luna's journal and becomes deeply concerned after reading its contents.
I admit the base situation felt a bit contrived in this fic. It's a bit hard to believe that a journal of this importance of hers would somehow end up in Celestia's pile and end up shipped to Twilight without anyone noticing. I also believe if Luna was this down on her luck then surely someone would have noticed, especially considering her history with both Celestia and Twilight, but I suppose the show itself vouches against my feelings.
But I am really just splitting hairs, because once I put myself past this, the story is really nice. Luna's eloquence makes her very simple wishes a joy to read. I really enjoyed how the author described the other alicorns in a way that's perfectly obvious, but without using their names once. The story then takes a breather with a very short section that could almost be considered comical as Twilight does her usual socially awkward stuff, before things switch back into full-steam. I really like the gradual release of tension that can be felt through the last part. The author accomplishes this with very careful choice of words. Initially the distance is made clear as both of them are just referred to as "political powers," then as Twilight gets through, "blue princess," and finally "Luna." It's a very small touch, but it really set the atmosphere for me, better than any massive tirade could have. This grip on the story's mood then reaches its climax when Twilight admitting she read her journal drives the tension to the roof and it takes three or arguably even five full paragraphs to resolve things. The author's very modest use of italics further plays into this and the last line seals the experience.
Overall: 7/10 In terms of narrative this is nothing new. We've all seen "Luna becomes sad, someone consoles her" fics before. But the way this is presented is definitely worth a ponder if you are into bite-sized, somber stories. Can recommend.