/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Hot Dam

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 511290/hot-dam

Published: Jan '22

Review in No. 38596703
'Hot Dam' is a three thousand and nine hundred-word oneshot. It features one day of Bundle Joy, a surrogate mother.
Now, I must admit that by myself I don't think I would have ever clicked on this story. The way the author portrays pregnancy is not very appealing to me personally. However, I've received a very polite request and found the story interesting enough to talk about, so here we are.
The story's prose is probably the thing that moved me the most. I cannot with a good heart call it anything but purple, because almost every single line is full of metaphors and other literary devices, hell the story even breaks into long alliteration at one point, but I personally found this surprisingly enjoyable. There is only so many ways you can say that "the mare was pregnant" and so the author's reliance on phrasing it in creative ways is admirable. There is only one instances where I think the prose went overboard and I kind of rolled my eyes (that being the "weathering the weather" line, which I thought was a bit too self-gratuitous and pretentious) but otherwise I found it engaging enough.
As for the plot itself, well, I'm scratching my head what to say. This is one of those fetish stories that feature nothing particularly explicit - the most being innuendos and teasing - and instead focus on the depiction of a fairly low-stakes SoL day of the protagonist, while placing the spotlight firmly on their state. Basically there is no real conflict in the story and the entirety of it is spent largely in a few locations with the surrogate mother talking to her foal, innocently teasing stallions, and even a colt, while taking baths. Again, since this particular fetish doesn't move me at all, I cannot comment on how effective it is in terms of causing arousal, but what I can say for sure is that this isn't exactly the sort of story you'd want to read for its riveting action, because there is none of that.
On a technical level I do have to applaud the amount of detail that went into the story, however. I've found the scene where the main character talks with the couple quite nicely written. All the advice she gives to them sounds very logical and, for lack of a better term, realistic for such a setting.
Overall: 5/10 I'm conflicted. On one hand, I'm certain that if the author were to write a story not about pregnancy, I'd most likely love it due to their vivid style. On the other, due to the choice of topic, I was left largely disinterested and while not exactly bored, there was little to nothing here that engaged me. I guess, if you're into this particular fetish I can easily recommend this story. It doesn't spare detail and care, and I have absolutely no doubts about the author being very invested and passionate about their stories. However, if you're not, unless you're willing to read a story only for its prose and put up with the rest, there is not much to see here for the average reader.