/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Virgin Princess

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 437468/the-virgin-princess

Published: Apr '19

Review in No. 37321810
Magic dementia is about as scary as real dementia is.
'The Virgin Princess' is a ten thousand-word shortfic and the penultimate episode of the 'The Third Wheel' series. I have to preface this by saying that I haven't yet read the rest of the series as I just stumbled upon this story and only saw that it's a sequel after having finished it, but thankfully the way it is written does not require any previous knowledge for which I have to give props to the author. The story centers around Twilight, now an eternally young Alicorn as she continues to face friendship problems, solves issues with singing and freaking out every day about liking coffee. It sounds amusing, but the story is very quick to freeze the smile on your face. Twilight's immortality came with a cost, her psyche is frozen in time, her conscious mind stuck as the same teenager she was at the moment of her transformation. This causes her to continuously forget everything learned since and only be able to remember even basic new memories if someone or something reminds her. This predicament nearly alienates her closest relatives who try their hardest to support her, and due to this her house is full of sticky notes as she tries to cope with her situation. This story is not horror as say the infamous 'Cupcakes' is. No one gets hurt, no one's life is in danger, Ponyville is safe until the last chapter. This is pure psychological horror as the reader empathizes with everyone and their impossible situation. As someone who had relatives succumb to dementia, this story is truly horrifying.
But what is even more tragic is the fact that Twilight not only understands her situation, but despite having the means to undo it all, consciously decides to sacrifice herself so that others may live a better life. In this story the divinity of Alicorns is shown in a grotesque light: The reason why they are so perfect is because they are literally incapable of change and thus being corrupted. Twilight will spend the rest of eternity relearning everything again and again, because for her it won't matter, but for the others it will be worth everything. This along with the burning away of her notes in the last chapter were two gigantic slaps the author gives the reader. It hurts and it is a literary gem.
To give everything its due attention, the rest of the cast works nicely too, the Changeling-Pony couple is lovable and their interactions with Twilight as mentioned above is amazing. The parts of the story where it goes "that's not what this story is about" is an interesting way to broaden the world, but feel a bit out of place.
Overall: 9/10 In ten thousand words this story grabbed and yanked out my heart. It's not a perfect story, there are parts I found weird, but it doesn't matter, the core is drama of such quality which I did not expect to find on this page. I consider this story a must-read.
Review in No. 37781109
The Virgin Princess is a 10,000 word short story that's vaguely horrifying. It stars Twilight and her sister "Light". Twilight is eternally 16 years old, and while she never forgets exactly what happens to her in her long life, she remains bubbly and happy because that is how she was when she ascended, and she physically can't move on from that. She prefers coffee but because she didnt know that before ascending she needs to be reminded that she likes coffee.
Its like she has alzheimers.
Her younger sister takes issue with this.
Overall its short and interesting and is a good reminder for me that not all good stories have to be hundreds of thousands of word long epics. 8/10. Where i don't like it is that it sets up some interesting worldbuilding, mentioning a far more interesting story and then going "Oh, well, this story isnt about that." I think its a flaw for a story to actively get you to try and imagine something more entertaining then youre reading.
Review in No. 40329312
A pointless "what if immortality was terrible but actually even worse?" Twilight torment fic. This story explores Twilight's amnesiac condition that, as one commenter pointed out, is similar to 50 first dates. It was briefly interesting to see in what ways Twilight copes with her affliction, but ultimately pointless because it's unbelievable. Celestia could not have ruled like this, nor would Cadance have been able to grow as she did in the show if she had this affliction. Likewise, nopony would have simply allowed Twilight to continue her suffering, only the author.
I didn't read the prequel chain, but everything in the fic implies it's all awful. Finally, the fic has lots of irrelevant politics injected in to it.