FimFiction Link - Short ID: 463479/applejacks-ghost
Published: Mar '20
'Applejack's Ghost' is a very short, about five thousand word-long drama about the eponymous pony being haunted by a mysterious mist.
Because the fic is so short, talking about almost any of the bigger plot elements would practically give away the substance of the story, so before I delve into spoilers, I'd just like to summarize my thoughts in the following way: I like the concept a lot. The idea of being able to spot that something is amiss and yet that realization itself is what ultimately makes the reader walk right into the trap is great. However, as a horror piece the story simply didn't work for me. Both AJ and the rest of the family are so nonchalant about the whole thing until the very end that it took me right out of the story. I felt no urgency in the plot, despite the shortness of the story.
As for spoilers, just like I've said above, the fact that you can deduce early that Granny Smith is missing is great. It makes it seem so obvious that she's the ghost, which makes the last twist (that she is more or less fine) all the more surprising. The revelation that Applejack was just suffering from trauma is good too in my opinion. But again, I find it silly how the "ghost" has visited AJ three times and then she just wakes up and does her stuff normally. She's a stubborn character, yes. But not like this. The "what are you afraid of" arch-sentence honestly feels a bit forced. We get an answer at the end of the story, but it just doesn't feel particularly interesting or unique.
Overall: 5/10 Great basic concept, but the pacing is a bit unfortunate, the characters act a bit weird. I would not call it a waste of time (especially due to the story's length), but the execution feels a bit lacking.