/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

I, Witness

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 142291/i-witness

Published: Oct '13

Review in No. 39505744
A pegasus mare thief wakes up next to the corpse of her "associate." Night Guard lore ensues. A pretty nice short story that tugs at the edges of noir but never quite dives fully in. The mystery has a decent twist that immediately throws you into the heart of some interesting bat pone lore I haven't seen another fic do. Due to its short length, the pacing felt a little quick. Slowing things down really could have helped to build the tension and dread. It also threw in some images, which never seem to work that well in fics, since it shatters the mental image the narration works to build. Still, entertaining.