/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Rainbow's Factory

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 495547/rainbows-factory

Published: Aug '21

Review in No. 39511823
'Rainbow's Factory' is an eight thousand and eight hundred-word oneshot. It is the (in)famous 'Rainbow Factory' retold from Dash's perspective.
Though 'The Weather Worker's Song' already gave back my hope for this series, I am even more pleased to say that not only does this story hold up, but in a way it redeems the original as well. It isn't without a few issues, but as a whole package I really enjoyed this fic.
For one, the prose does some things excellently. Rainbow's migraine for instance is depicted in a very unique way, using evocative visual metaphors and intentionally confusing phrasings that really sell how dazed Dash is feeling. Similarly, the way the more morbid parts of the story are depicted in gruesome detail as well, making me cringe a few times (in a good way) while reading.
Speaking of, this story definitely deserves its M rating. Not that this is any surprising, but no punches are pulled and it is emphasized several times that really, under all that protocol and tradition and whatever, RD and co are killing children. And this is where the story really sold itself to me, the fact that though weather production is necessary to keep Equestria alive, rainbow production is pretty much a sham, a lie turned into a tradition turned into culture to keep up the eugenics. I suppose in a way it's not that surprising of a twist, but the story makes it feel impactful and it just feels grim.
And yet this is all just a backdrop for Rainbow's own tragedy. The way she behaved in the original fic was cartoonish at best, downright ridiculous at worst, but with the veil lifted and her inner monologue and worries revealed, she becomes a far more 'equine' character and I love that. Admittedly though, this is the part where my suspension of disbelief became the most strained, but arguably this is because the author had to work within the confines of the original: I understand and can accept why Dash turned stark raving mad, what I find a bit less understandable is the rest of the directors being so nonchalant about it. I suppose it might just be to show that as long as she achieves results no one gives a shit about the methods, but still, reasonably she should've been removed or not even allowed into the room in the first place. Frankly I don't wish to harp on the author for it, it just stretched my immersion a bit too hard.
I'm also not that big of a fan of the way swears are used in this fic. I'm not necessarily against them in horsewords, but I don't like very human swears being used. It's a matter of taste and perhaps you won't care about it, but it can be a bit of a pet peeve.
Overall: 7/10 A fic that speaks volumes of the sheer improvement the author achieved over the years. It's grim, it's tragic, it's tense even though you already know the outcome. If grimdark is to your liking, this fic is a must.