FimFiction Link - Short ID: 466170/overcast
Published: Apr '20
I like horror. I like weird, unexplainable phenomena. I like the weather. So I should like this story. And to be fair, I enjoyed it a lot. I just feel it falls short of being great.
I love how sudden it starts. Everyone's having a regular day, when suddenly, pegasi start crash landing. Terrified of what the clouds hide. Dash goes asking for help while Fluttershy tends to the hurt ponies. Flitter is badly hurt and is worried about her sister being "gone".
Of course, this is the one time Fluttershy decides to stick to the little character development she had and act despite being scared and goes into the clouds to see if Cloudchaser needs help.
I won't spoil the rest of the story, but I think it does a fairly good job at presenting something alien and unexplainable. The problem for me comes in how quickly everything is resolved. While I like the idea of this force of nature just roaming across Equestria, only sometimes interacting with ponies, I don't think the author made it feel as terrifying as it should've been.
In the end, Fluttershy (and Derpy) manage to escape certain doom as that thing passes them by... and then the story wraps up. There's an epilogue where Fluttershy has to cope with having seen what she's seen, how she didn't open up to her friends about what she saw because she didn't think they'd believe her.
The epilogue would've worked better if the preceding story would've gone a bit deeper on Fluttershy's encounter with the creature.
Overall, while I don't think this a must read for horror fans, it still is a very enjoyable tale.
After the pegasi of Ponyville scramble down from the sky, Fluttershy investigates why. A really great fic... if it would have been longer. It's got that classic horror oneshot problem (even if it's technically a twoshot) of leaving so much potential cast aside, so it can shoot for that eerie feeling that's really just disappointment that things weren't fleshed out more.
As it stands, it does do a very good of building the tension as Fluttshy ascends into the clouds and at least the monster's not another generic eldrich abomination. But it still feels like it would have worked way better as a 20k novella.