/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

When the Stars Sleep

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 488834/when-the-stars-sleep

Published: Feb '21Apr '21

Review in No. 39867025
That is... not a good cover art.
When the Stars Sleep is a 25k word horror short story. One night, after the sun comes down, the moon fails to go up. As do the stars. And when the morning comes, the sun does not.
I liked this story. It starts unsettling and it slowly builds the dread as the days go on. Also, Twilight and Fluttershy have a nice dynamic that I think went underused. There was the Philomena episode and the one with the Hatfields and McCoys expys, and I think that's it. Either way, I think this story does a good job with the horror. It starts with this weird scenario that slowly gets weirder as the letters Twilight sends to the Princess keep bouncing back and the darkness starts getting denser.
There are two things that rubbed me the wrong way, though. Spoilers ahead.
Later on, while in Canterlot, Twilight is attacked by the... darkness, let's say, just as she's about to read a passage in a bestiary that she infers would contain essential information about the forces behind this situation. But she remembers she had a copy of that book back in Ponyville, but had dismissed it as just folklore. So, she goes back to Ponyville... instead of just asking the Princesses about it. I mean, she's there, in the castle. May as well ask.
And another thing, but less spoilery. The final confrontation happens too fast. Once shit hits the fan back in Ponyville, we go through the necessary scenes to build up the final threat and then there's the climax, and now we're in the epilogue. Sure, you don't want to drag it, but I just feel it's too fast compared to the rest of the story.
Nevertheless, it's short and well done. I'd definitely recommend it, and you should read it.