FimFiction Link - Short ID: 445337/once-you-go-pinkie
Published: Jul '19
"But I don't want to cure pony aids, I want to materialise cakes!"
Once You Go Pinkie is an 18k words, fun-filled, slightly unhinged character drama buried in pink.
I enjoyed this story. I would've loved to love it, though. The drama that the main character undergoes I feel is pretty good. An overworked changeling finds respite from its horrible life by being Pinkie Pie, because being Pinkie Pie is the best! The horrible things it has to do for Chrysalis and its grueling schedule seem just a little less soul-draining when you get to be Pinkie Pie. Sadly, this gets her in trouble with Chrysalis, who forces her to commit a horrible act against the ponies she was just helping as Pinkie.
Thankfully, a rogue changeling who has been impersonating Pinkie for decades comes to the rescue and introduces our protagonist to a secret society of Pinkies, comprised of clones, alternate universe versions, a time traveler, one Sumerian goddess, and other changelings who got addicted to the Pink.
You'd think these two concepts would clash horribly, but that's only because they do. Nevertheless, I found myself amused, and only wish we could've had a better development of Pinkie 1665 as she traverses this Pink, Pink underworld. I feel there was potential here. Have her doubts be reflected in her interactions with other Pinkies and make a clearer development for her arc. We do have good moments, like her interaction with two Pinkie clones who are resisting the Call of the Pink, as well as a frog turned into a Pinkie. But they are moments. They happen. They make a point. Include some funny bit of dialogue, and they're done.
Likewise, once she escapes the Cult of the Pink One and makes her way to Ponyville to meet Pinkie for guidance, it would've been great to see a contrast between the way Pinkie Two wanted to handle things and the way the real Pinkie does. Instead, she just offers a few small suggestions, they work out, and we get a happy ending. I guess it goes on to show how efficient the real Pinkie is when compared to the alternates, but it still feels underdeveloped.
The skeleton of the story I think is great. And I even found the dialogue to be engaging and fun.
However, an additional pass or two, as well as expanding and fleshing out Pinkie 1665's development would've done wonders for the story.
Still, as it stands, I had a good time reading it, and I walk away with a smile on my face.
Also, did they ever get rid of that barrel of toxic waste?