FimFiction Link - Short ID: 403114/passages
Published: Mar '18
Passages is a 7k Adventure Horror Sci-Fi story. Somehow.
The ponies over at Town Hall are doing their works normally, when Mayor Mare ponders upon a mysterious door which cannot be opened.
This was interesting to analyse as I read. I think it does a fairly good job at creating a tense atmosphere. Mayor Mare tries her best to figure out what's the deal with this odd door, and once it becomes apparent that there's something magical going on with it, things ramp up... except the pacing. There are more things going on, and there's a sense of urgency in the narration, but things remain slow. Perhaps more slow than it should be considering what comes out of the door.
The Sci-Fi aspect is barely there. I'd argue it's nothing more than a coat of paint tacked at the very end. One that it didn't really need. As a paranormal mystery, it worked quite well.
Overall, I'd say it's fine. The story never reached the heights promised by its description, but it remained entertaining.
Mayor Mare opens a mysterious door she's never seen before at town hall, despite having the blueprints to the building. Not the first "scary door" fic I've read and I can't say the genre's gone well so far. This one's really bloated out. Easily could have cut 3k of the mayor himming and hawing about the door--especially since that doesn't really add to the tension or horror. It's just boring. There's no sense of building dread a good horror oneshot needs.
This gets compounded by a very weak monster reveal. i was hoping it was going to end with her curiosity getting her trapped in a strange, unknown world and there being no actual monster, just a somewhat cruel twist, but instead we get the standard, boring lovecraftian thing that's in a hundred other fics to tick off the horror box. Such a disappointment.