/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Sun Whispers Your Name

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 28840/the-sun-whispers-your-name

Published: May '12Jun '12

Review in No. 40112557
It's fine, but you should just read Apotheosis instead.

Right, I suppose the fic deserves more than that.
Twilight and Luna go on a dream adventure into Celestia's mind, where they find fantastical environments, cryptic clues, symbolic dream-logic stories, and Mystic (heh) events. And that's all pretty good; the worldbuilding seems like exactly what it should be. If you're willing to overlook some flaws, this aspect of the story can actually charm you long enough to not notice its flaws. That's what happened to me when I first read it years ago -- I thought it was pretty good and even worth recommending.

But the fic has many serious flaws.
The mysteriously cryptic clues are probably all made up. There are no answers to be found, no answers at all. Something like three-fourths of the cool symbolism is dream nonsense without any explanations, barring ones you make up yourself. After finishing it, you're left with a bag full of empty symbols and ideas whose sole purpose was looking cool. That's pretty bad.
The cast sucks. I really like Twilight and Luna, so the idea of a non-romantic TwiLuna adventure sounded very appealing to me. Unfor-tuna-tely, they're barely present in this fic. They get separated early, and Twilight doesn't really do anything at all. She's there mostly to let the narrator narrate all over the "cool" worldbuilding. When Luna eventually shows up, she's not that great either.
I've saved this for last because I know most people don't care, but this fic also happens to overflow with errors and mistakes of many varieties. Typos, grammar errors, horrible dialogue -- here you'll find it all and much more.

It's not horrible. It's not even bad, all things considered. But it's mediocre, and the fact that it effectively lies to you by promising enticing dream worlds drags it down. It's still an above average fic, and you could do a lot worse if you're just looking for a Twilight + Luna adventure, but I don't think I can honestly recommend it. 6/10