/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Keep it in the Closet

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 540504/keep-it-in-the-closet

Published: Aug '23

Review in No. 40221386
I made it about two-and-a-half chapters, then skimmed to the end of chapter three. I'm not reading any further. I hated this fic.

Technically, everything is fine. No issues with grammar, spelling, and so on. This is the fic's only positive.

Night Light is repulsive. Everything about him is sickening. The author does succeed in making Night Light a disturbing character, which is some kind of success. However, that should be understood as a backhanded compliment, because I'm pretty sure the author is self-inserting as Night Light. Up to where I stopped, the fic is just fetish material. It's some kind of mindbreak or power kink; I don't know where it eventually goes, but since I don't share that kink, I found the plot both boring and stupid. Cadance acts like an idiot. She has to act like an idiot, because if she didn't, she wouldn't fall victim to Night Light, and the author can't coom without a victim. Twilight appears briefly and for laughs, but she's basically a background pony.

There's nothing about this fic that I can recommend unless you want to admire the author's competency with the English language.

On a personal note, I now feel disgusted that the author once left a comment on one of my own fics. At least it wasn't an entirely positive comment.
Review in No. 40264583
This is probably the worst tailsopony fic I've read.
I will defend the merits of Shining's Isekai and Tower of Diamond. Those tell a story alongside the porn. They have at the very least something to say. A theme, or idea they present and explore it through sex. Whether or not they accomplish this is debatable, but those at least try.
KiitC does not reach those points.
I thought it would try to explore and contrast Cadance's naïveté with Night Light's depravity, but it only does this in the most superficial of aspects. The very core premise of Night Light thinking Cadance and Shining are too inexperienced and won't be able to face the challenges their special kind of relationship will bring. Suitors, potential manipulators, resentful nobles, etc.
That is a good premise, at least for the purposes of this story. I'd say it's even a correct one. Not particularly fitting for ponies, but hey, why should we let that stop a fanfic? We've read stories in both clubs that certainly wouldn't fit regular Equestria, but they make it work with worldbuilding or characterization, or even just an interesting enough plot.
This story does none of those. There's nothing to justify Night Light's concerns. Has this happened before? Has equestrian politics been impacted negatively due to scandals and infidelities in the past? Had the story presented this and justified it--say, Cadance remembering one of the Bluebloods ruining some important alliance with neighboring nations due to someone fucking a king's wife or something like that--then that could at least serve as a reasoning for Cadance to have an internal dilemma. "This won't happen to us! Although it has happened before..." Boom, you've done a bit of worldbuilding to justify some aspects of your story.
What about the plot itself? There's not much happening here. Once Night and Cadance agree to the game, it's just them having sex until the story is over. Just one scene. And it isn't really a multilayered scene, where you have multiple things happening at the same time. The game they play is interesting, I will say that. I would've enjoyed a bit more complexity. Maybe some things really don't work out as Night Light figures out what makes Cadance tick, slowly mapping all her weak spots and making her bend to his will. Slowly building up physical contact from just caresses, to rubbing sides, to more intimate stuff was good... but Cadance's reaction was quite one note, as others have said. Guilty arousal and denial followed by more guilty arousal and denial.
Review in No. 40264586
So that leads into the last aspect. Characters. Can't say I'm impressed. Even if you're generous and say that the core trait Cadance and Night Light present are good, they never go beyond that. We learn more about Night Light's previous escapades, but I don't feel they add to his character beyond "this guy sure is one manipulative jerk!". At least in Shining's Isekai, we got to see Celestia being repulsed in different ways by Shining's behaviour, and you could feel that disgust build up as it mixed with the resignation that she's got to do this for Equetria's well being. Here, Cadance is scandalised but can't say no. Nightlight is manipulative and quickly figures out how to push her buttons. They never really evolve beyond that.
We don't even get a glimpse into what made Night Light the way he is. In Tower of Diamond, we at least get inklings into what twisted Diamond Tiara into the ruthless character she's in the present before we get the full tragic backstory. Here there's nothing. Night Light's always been a monster, he remains a monster, and he'll continue to be one until he dies. There's nothing behind the most surface level. Similarly, Cadance's downfall into debauchery should be tragic. She played with something she didn't understand and now she's trapped into something she desires and hates herself for desiring.
Even if you think tailsopony's works are just bizarre plot with no redeeming qualities, Keep it in the Closet is not up to the standards of his previous works. As a story, it does the absolute bare minimum. And as a clopfic, it has some hot moments, but it's overall just alright. Even as a tale of corruption, I wouldn't call it a shining example. There are other similar stories that tower over it.
If you ever wondered why some people defend tailsopony's fics, Keep it in the Closet has none of those reasons.
It's not horrible, but I wouldn't recommend it.