/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews


FimFiction Link - Short ID: 338/spark

Published: Jul '11

Review in No. 40234079
This fic was a ride.
To start with, it's unedited: although it has been run through a spell checker, there are a lot of awkward word choices, grammatical errors and missing words. However, the first half of the story is filled with a delightful rendition of Twilight getting to know an ill Luna. This fic obviously predates Luna Eclipsed, but her characterization is OK. The most severe issues with it are that she suffers the early fandom tax of self-loathing and feeling outshined by her sister. However, she does not suffer any lack of enthusiasm for self-improvement channeled towards reattaining a sense of deservedness for her title.

It was a great deal of fun watching Twilight grow close to Luna and get to know her as she learns about alicorn magic, ancient Equestrian history and tax code as Luna refuses to allow her illness to keep her bed-ridden. Despite the author's ineptitude, a great deal of excellent scenes were delivered with Luna and Twilight teaching each other about celestial magic, multiplanar canoodling and the best duo just generally being adorable.

Then, the cause of Luna's illness is revealed in a frankly, unbelievable, twist. The story promptly becomes a crackfic with an anime fight and further suffers the early fandom fic tax with the reintroduction of the rest of the M6. After the boss fight, there are a few more nice scenes to be delivered, before the fic delivers a completely pointless and unrelated, melodramatic epilogue. If the rest of the fic seems like a good time to you, just don't read that.