/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

The Head

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 523204/the-head

Published: Oct '22

Review in No. 40235469
The Head is a 10,8k Dark Horror story. On a chilly morning in early October, Ocellus came to class without a head.
Initially, I thought this was missing a mystery tag. The first third of the story is Starlight and Trixie trying to figure out what happened to Ocellus, so I figured this would be a whodunnit? where they gather clues and figure out who the killer is.
Rather quickly, however, that is brushed aside. Once it's figured Ocellus got her head jammed in some gears, Starlight and Trixie proceed to... fill paperwork about the incident until Ocellus's parents come to pick up her body. Meanwhile, it hangs out in their office and bumps against the walls.
After this, it became very apparent the "horror" tag was here mostly due to some descriptions of Ocellus's decapitated body rather than any actual horror taking place in the story. We get some random plot developments that don't amount to much, like how Trixie's mother had dementia and the way Ocellus's body stumbles reminds her of her mom. Which is kinda fucked up, if you ask me.
They let the body out, and follow it all the way to Ocellus's room, where they find a letter explaining that she committed suicide due to self-identity issues. Afterwards, Starlight beats the body to a pulp. The end.
Yeah, I can't say I like how the story developed. A strong start, a middling middle, and a clumsy conclusion. One of the stories in which the good doesn't outweigh the boring. Don't bother.