/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews


FimFiction Link - Short ID: 542676/prometheus

Published: Sep '23

Review in No. 40335344
Prometheus is a Dark 1,7k story. In it, Twilight learns about the horrors of Big Pharma.
You may notice the wordcount is quite small. It is. This leads to what the author acknowledges as "unconventional layout/p{u}nctuation". By which it means, big blocks of text that include several speakers, narration, introspection, and transitions.
Messy? Perhaps. Unreadable? Certainly not.
I'm willing to put my hand in the fire for this story. I feel the paragraphs flow in a way that make an engaging read.
Granted, I don't think this style would work on an average length story, but I think the writing was interesting.
How about the plot?
It's alright. There's this new revolutionary drug that manages to cure some severe ailments. And the company came out of nowhere. And this is their very first product. How curious. I'm sure the way they acquire their resources is a hundred percent ethical. Eeyup.
Anyway, the ending is the biggest downside of the story. It's good in concept. And to a degree, the execution is alright. But it's just too fast. Twilight finds out Hippotech is harvesting human livers for enzymes, and this leads to over six thousand ponies being saved every year.
She's horrified, but realises the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Still she has a moment of reluctance and regret. But then the story is over.
Eh... That's kinda lame. Even more so considering all the elements for a more impactful ending are there.
Then again, any deeper exploration would've turned this into a far longer story. Which I would've liked to read.
In the end, while I wouldn't call this a great story, or anything, I still think it's a worthwhile read that does some interesting things.