/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Holiday Parole

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 548268/holiday-parole

Published: Dec '23

Review in No. 40686380
Holiday Parole is an 8.3k word SoL fic set between seasons 8 and 9. Cozy Glow is granted a one-day parole from Tartarus during which Tempest Shadow escorts her around a Hearths Warming Day festival. Cozy Glow initially tries to escape, but her attempts are foiled by enchanted medallions prepared by Luna. She tries ice skating, building snow ponies, and having a snowball fight with Tempest Shadow. At the end of the day, they ride a Ferris wheel. Tempest Shadow offers to let Cozy Glow escape if Cozy Glow can win a truth-telling game. Tempest Shadow reveals that the parole was her idea and that she sees a little of herself in Cozy Glow. Cozy Glow wins the game. Instead of escaping, she asks to return to Tartarus as long as Tempest Shadow comes to visit her and take her on parole again.

The first three chapters are mostly meaningless fluff. The only plot or character development comes near the beginning (during Cozy Glow's dialogue with Tirek and her attempts to escape). After that, the cute filly does cute filly things. I found this part tolerable but boring. The fourth chapter tries to add spice to what has been a bland story. But Tempest Shadow's offer is too big a reward with too little motivation, and it struck me as stupid. If you can get over that, though, then their following dialogue is better than the rest of the story—until you get to the end. Cozy Glow agreeing to go back to Tartarus in exchange for a promise of future visits by Tempest Shadow is even stupider than Tempest Shadow's initial offer.

I think the author wants Cozy Glow to be reformed. I'm okay with that. I like reforming her better than turning her to stone. But you can't reform a supervillain with a therapeutic five minute Ferris wheel ride. I feel like the author could have told a much better story with almost the same events. It would be a story where Tempest Shadow's offer is much less generous and Cozy Glow only begins to be tempted by the possibility of reform. Sadly, that's not the story we got.

I didn't notice any technical problems. If you enjoy SoL then you may find the middle two chapters appealing. 3/10.