/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

World of Colgates

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 480334/world-of-colgates

Published: Oct '20

Review in No. 37444558
'World of Colgates' is a fifteen-thousand word shortfic about /mlp/'s favorite stare-mare given the power to travel time... using a spoon.
The interesting thing about this fic is that while it definitely doesn't take itself seriously (the comedy tag is well deserved,) it still manages to tell a complete story that ties in to itself several times, even in ways I really didn't foresee. Tiny, seemingly irrelevant details and what seem to be one-off jokes get referenced and turn out to be caused by time travel. And this is all done in a way that doesn't feel unnatural, the plot never takes the backseat, the jokes and callbacks simply complement it nicely.
Colgate is the typical grouchy, but well-intentioned main character. She isn't afraid to dish out punches (many of which have humorous repercussions), but she is also ready to do everything to save the world from an unlikely antagonist. Because the story is so dependent on its small twists and backwards and forwards references, I'm not going to go into too much detail about the plot itself. To give you my spoiler-free opinion: I recommend this fic. The story is not free of problems, but it's funny and also smarter than what you'd expect at first from the premise of a dentist horse with an attitude and a magic spoon.
Okay, now for some things I didn't like: Derpy being the villain is very unexpected, but also a bit too out of character for my taste. She's supposed to be a lovable goof and her playing 8D chess cause a virus to be created that basically PG-13 genocides 99% of the ponies is extremely hard to reconcile with her character, even if she does it for sympathetic reasons. Speaking of which, I'm not sure if this is an intentional bootstrap-paradox from the author or not, but how did she even get the virus in the first place? Wasn't it cultivated and bottled up by future-Starlight in her attempts to find a cure? Maybe I've missed something, but for a story that's otherwise so careful about not leaving any plot-holes open, this felt like a big one. I also don't really understand the in-universe reason why Colgate checks off the days in the calendar when she visits her past self. I assume the author intended it to be a red-herring for the reader, but I don't really see any reason for it to actually happen. Similarly the meeting with the sun-entity also felt very out of place. I get that it sets up one of the very last jokes in the story, but like with the calendar-fiasco it makes very little sense and fits little into the rest of the storyline and events.
Overall: 8/10 I'm willing to give this story a high score due to its clever time-travel shenanigans, but I can't really look over the issues I've mentioned above. 'World of Colgates' is a comfy and entertaining action-comedy that I can easily recommend for readers who want to smile, as long as they're okay with forgiving a few niggles in the logic.