/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 321704/wrong-place-wrong-time

Published: Mar '16

Review in No. 40881444
Wrong Place, Wrong Time is a 2,4k word Tragedy. Another fan sequel to Stabbing of Nurse Redheart.
This story is told from the point of view of the pony who stabbed Redheart. A random stallion who arrived to Fillydelphia full of hopes and dreams, but due to several factors found himself without a bit to his name and roaming the streets for food and shelter.
He's come to hate the city. Its culture. Its inhabitants. They're all rotten. Rotten to the core. Except for that one nice pony working at the hospital. She really does seem to care. Even for somepony like him.
That's what really makes the story work. It's really a case of wrong place, wrong time. Redheart just so happened to want to take a shortcut through the alley where this pony has made his residence. And he happened to be desperate enough that night to turn violent when his victim didn't comply immediately.
Sadly, the story loses steam right afterwards. After the stabbing, the pony runs away and the pacing goes out the window. Not that the story needed a long, introspective monologue about what the guy had done, but in just a few paragraphs we go from realisation hitting him, to... the end.
It was going so well, and the rushed conclusion really soured what would've been a story just as good as the original. Still, it's an enjoyable companion piece.