FimFiction Link - Short ID: 536888/gerharts-doom
Published: Jun '23
Gerhart's Doom is a 1k Horror story. In it, Gerhart, the griffon, has to take down something from beyond reality.
Mage summoned demons, managed to keep them at bay, but now he's dead and the demons are coming into this plane of existence. Yadda, yadda. What this story really is about is Gerhart's—due to a lack of a better word—journey. It starts just as a paid job to take down a mad wizard who might bring doom upon a village, but upon finding out the wizard's fate and what's at risk should these creatures escape, Gerhart steels himself, pushes aside his terror, and does what needs to be done.
This was so close to being great. The whole story has an introspective mood, coming off as somewhat melancholic at times. I quite liked it. However, the story ends just as Gerhart throws his spear at the skeleton of the mage. Sure, there is some significance to not knowing his fate, but I fell there was a better way to tell that ending.
Perhaps keep that same tone as Gerhart comes to the realisation that this is what needs to be done, and a final thought about duty. You know, something to tie it together.
This same idea would need to be reworked to better fit in those thousand words so it can shine as it deserves. However, as it stands, this is just an enjoyable quick fantasy—Oh, wait. This is supposed to be a pony fanfic.
Yeah, it doesn't fare well on that front. Sure, Gerhart is a griffon. Sable is a unicorn. There's a couple of namedrops of Equestrian lore. But that's it. This really feels like a standalone fantasy scenario.