FimFiction Link - Short ID: 337815/it-moves-below
Published: Jul '16
It Moves Below is a 2,4k action-lite Horror story. The Stalking Maw roams beyond the limits of the Pie Family Rock Farm. Marble Pie knows this quite well, in spite of her family's incredulity, and now has to face it.
I liked this story. It was fun. It's not as tense or fast paced as other pony vs. monster stories I've read, but it set up a fairly tense mood that I enjoyed. It's sadly over before it can really get going.
Marble mulls over how this creature is out there, she comes across it, evades it a couple of times, tries to make it crash into Houlder's Boulder, and ultimately defeats it. That's really it. It's a fine story, but it could've easily been much better. Granted, I feel a longer tale would've needed a change in narration style, but it could've worked. Still, I think the positives outweight the negatives here.
Of course, then you read the comments and find out it's a graboid from Tremors. I mean, sure, it makes sense in hindsight. But it just robs the story of some of the mystique it had. So, don't read the comments.