FimFiction Link - Short ID: 561388/in-the-house
Published: Jul '24
In the House is a 1k Horror fic. In it, we learn the about the horrors of defacing loaned property.
Raven Inkwell has gotten her hooves on a book she's been looking forward to reading, thanks to a coworker's generosity. Sadly, her work as a secretary and assistant mean she has to constantly take notes and write down a lot of stuff. So she uses an enchanted quill that automatically writes what she says.
Sadly, she made the mistake of leaving it on, and now the book has been filled with her thoughts and annotations as she read the torrid passages of trashy love and lust. Whatever will she do? Cinnamon trusted her copy of the book to Raven, and now--SURPRISE, THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE HOUSE
And now, Raven is dead. The end.
Yeah... This ain't it, chief. Talk about abrupt endings. This felt so jarring it dragged me out of the story.
And the thing is, I don't even want to blame the word limit. This idea of having the protagonist's thoughts immediately recorded or written down only to end abruptly as the monster gets them is one I've never seen done well. It feels as if the author wanted the abrupt ending of a found footage film, but didn't understand the differences in the medium.
Eh. Prose is fine. Idea is meh. Execution is sub-par.