FimFiction Link - Short ID: 53269/a-ballad-of-eeyup-and-nope
Published: Sep '12 — Oct '13
(1/2)
>"Her grin beamed like the illegitimate love child of a radiant dawn and a very wrinkled raisin."
'A Ballad of Eeyup and Nope' is a 33k-word shortfic, which is technically tagged Slice of Life and it is a fitting tag, but I really think it would have deserved Comedy too. Big Mac bets with AJ that he won't say his iconic two words for a day. This ends up being everyone's problem.
Wow! I mean, wow! If I had to pick a single fic for that early fandom feel, this would be it. You've got everything, characters who don't usually show up (Philomena), Fluttershy being completely absent, a low-stakes "pony" conflict, and as much shipping as you can cram into a fic without it turning to T. I wouldn't call ABoEaN either an "evolutionary" or a "revolutionary" story, but I would definitely call it "hallmark".
It was thoroughly enjoying myself through the entire fic. The prose is very-very pleasant (with one caveat), the author uses deeply creative metaphors in a way that never once felt purple to me, just *nice* if that makes any sense. From describing Mac's internal turmoil, to painting scenes and character expressions, this felt like I was watching an episode, only with a bit more introspection... and subtle and less subtle lewdness. Now I'm no prude, but I sure as shit didn't expect either Pinkie's "catsuit" being described like that, or Twilight near throwing herself on Mac, or potential romances being such a big part of this fic. I didn't mind any of these, don't get me wrong (hell, I'd say this was one of the hotter Pinkies I've ever read, being so determined, yet cutely awkward on her own way) I just went in with a lot tamer picture in mind. But I guess that's on me for not being adequately prepared for an early-fandom BM fic.
This aside, I really loved the characterizations. Cheerilee ending up as Mac's friend and closest confidant (after his family) in particular struck me as a very mature and likeable headcanon. I found myself eyerolling at Dash's and AJ's definitely-not-romance(!), but not in an annoyed way, rather when you see the joke coming from a mile away and the joke indeed arrives, but it's done in a tasteful and good way, so it all ends up being fine. In general I'm quite fond of seeing the arrogant, yet good natured prankster side of Dash being presented. I was surprised to see Rarity being the straight mare of the group, but I guess it makes sense and it was a nice faux-twist to have her act decent and responsible towards Mac through the entire fic. Having everyone head over hooves for him would've been too much. Speaking of Mac, he is an enjoyable protagonist. I kind of struggle to say too much about him, which I suppose is fitting.
(2/2)
I enjoyed his internal monologues and his creative ways of abstaining from eeyup and nope, but funnily enough by the end of the story he feels less of a protagonist and more of a "distinguished" side-character in his own fic. Sure, his actions drive the plot, but the mares are the car, engine, and fuel. Finally, I do want to make a note of Granny Smith, whom I've never seen written so well before. She is a cranky old mare sure, but you really feel that grandmotherly love and cunning coming from her and that's excellent.
I've praised the prose before and I do stand by what I've said, but sadly there was one part that made me struggle reading the story, despite its relative shortness. There's a lot of "she said"-s and paragraphs not being separated after speech, which occasionally completely made me stumble on who's talking and who's reacting to what. It might be a skill issue on my behalf, but with how well everything else in the story flows, I'm inclined to think it's not. It's nowhere near enough to ruin the story or anything, but with a pass of a technical proofreader, it could've been nearly perfect. I'm also not that big on Mac, AJ, and AB occasionally being called "the Apple". I suppose it's not wrong, they are Apples, but to me it felt more awkward than just repeating their names.
Overall: 7/10 ABoEaN is an excellent little fic. By sticking to the basics and setting its scope small, the author was able to really focus on the character moments and presentation, ultimately leading to a very pleasant one-afternoon book, that has plenty of cute and funny moments. I don't think it's quite as memorable as some other fics the club had read before, but I also don't think the author was aiming for that.