FimFiction Link - Short ID: 504093/grinded-pony-hooves
Published: Sep '21
'Grinded Pony Hooves' is a two and a half-thousand word oneshot in which Hitch gets abducted by Izzy, who really craves some ground up pony hooves. I'll be completely frank, I opened this story with the expectation of finding an exceptionally terrible, creepypasta-level fic, based on the fact that the story directly references Rainbow Factory and Pegasus Device multiple times and that the cover image is a screenshot from the movie with the colors invented.
And yet... the fic is actually not half bad. The big reveal that Izzy really is just this autistic and she was really just trying to give Hitch a "hooficure" is pretty funny and the author really sets up the punchline with false clues that this will be a gorefic. The idea that this one piece of negative stereotype of unicorns eating pony hooves is actually true is also amusing in an absurd way. The way Hitch reacts to the whole process feels borderline fetishistic, but without knowing the writer's thoughts I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that this was also meant to be humorous.
So why am I not giving this story a higher score then? Largely due to the very end of the story. I feel like the climax would have worked so much better without the extremely unnecessary sex joke and the way the author recycles the mayonnaise joke from the movie at the end. The pacing was so good until that point and this for me soured it a bit.
Overall: 7/10 A somewhat ruined ending aside, this is a well written story and one that gives me some hope about the future of G5 fics. I recommend it.