/mlp/ Fanfic Reviews

Finding a Haven

FimFiction Link - Short ID: 504724/finding-a-haven

Published: Oct '21

Review in No. 37693740
'Finding a Haven' is a four thousand-word oneshot. Due to past generations interbreeding so heavily, even after so much time every once in a while the "wrong" kind of pony is born, like a pegasi couple giving birth to a unicorn. When such a foal is presented to Queen Haven's father, the king, he opts to have her taken to Bridlewood, instead of leaving her to her fate. What complicates matters, however, is that Haven, - who's chosen to deliver the infant - is not all that willing to venture into the territory of their sworn enemies, especially since she herself just had her first child, Zipp.
I have to admit that this story requires some serious suspension of disbelief: Empathy is one thing, but it's a bit hard to believe that a king would send her daughter and heir, who's still heavily burdened by her recent childbirth, to a potentially hostile foreign power for a single unicorn foal. But if you're willing to accept this, the story is not bad at all. Don't get me wrong, it's still more or less your run-of-the-mill "We need to deliver a package. Oh no, there is an obstacle in our way. We surmounted it and arrived safely." kind of story, but it is competently enough written that I don't mind this too much.
One thing I feel like I should mention is that the story elaborates surprisingly heavily on the side effects of pregnancy. From "swollen teats" to "bruised abdominal muscles," the author spares no details, so if you're the sort of reader who'd rather not think about such things, you might want to avoid this story.
Ultimately, due to the fic's shortness, there is little I could directly call bad. My only problem is that the journey has very little challenges overall. Haven faces zero adversity through her trip, both her father and eventually even the unicorns act relatively friendly towards her and while there is a scene that puts her in danger, knowing she's in the movie and she's fine pretty much takes out all tension from it. I think a different premise in which she saved the foal against her father's wishes due to her motherly instincts would have had a much greater emotional impact on the reader, especially if she's even punished for doing something "wrong," even though she's the only one acting morally right in the situation. But that's not what happens here, so we're left with an okay story instead of an amazing one.
Overall: 5/10 Nice prose, but little in terms of events that'd make this story truly memorable. While this won't be the fic that convinces me that G5 has as much potential as G4, it's still a quaint little read, that I can recommend.